Connecting with people in Los Angeles, on a relational level might be the hardest thing to do, mostly because people don’t want you to know who they truly are. What may seem easy to others, like making friends is similar to pulling teeth in Los Angeles. Many people are hiding who they truly are, due to trying to uphold to a facade and false self. The other people in LA are just secretive and private to a fault. Its hard to trust people in Los Angeles because people never reveal their intentions. You rarely know who your real friends are, so it’s no wonder Los Angeles is considered to be the hardest place to date.
   Los Angeles is considered the one place where the most single people reside. Due to Hollywood, fast life, superficiality, hot weather, beaches and all walks of life playing a big part; loose dating styles in Los Angeles are prized over marriage and traditional life styles. Firstly, Los Angeles is an individualistic, new age, liberal, non-traditional place, which derives from no single impressionable culture, therefore, all things go. Hollywood and materialism is infectious and there is no greater influence but that of the individual. Due to the Hollywood affect in Los Angeles, many people have non-traditional practices, and most of them are new age. Los Angeles is home of New Age practices. Psychic reader shops plague almost every street corner in Los Angeles, along with crystal stores. Many people in Los Angeles would rather embrace unGodly spiritual practices, and new age philosophies consisting of, tarot card readings, shaman readings, crystal stones, chakra balancing, hypnotherapy, aura readings, dream catchers etc rather than focus on relationships. California is not your traditional, family oriented state. Men and women date whomever they want and sleep with whomever they want, without the intention of creating a family. Chivalry and courting are unknown factors in Los Angeles. Men don’t seem to take love nor dating seriously. Romance is unheard of and women are not asked out properly for dates. Women are objectified, demeaned and reduced to sexual objects by men. It is more prized for men to be cool, pretty boys, and players, versing being committal. In fact, while growing up in Los Angeles, I noticed many guys making fun of gentleman, romantic gestures and commitment, referring to it as “gay”. Many men do not come from traditional backgrounds in Los Angeles, meaning many were raised without a father in the home, therefore, they have not been privileged to witnessing love and or watching their fathers treat their mothers with respect. I have even noticed some men who were raised with their fathers lacking respect for women, most likely because they also lacked having a good role model. Men in Los Angeles, rather married or single battle with the notion of being a good do right guy or a prick. I blame some of the influence on west coast rap. In the beginning stages of hip hop developing, gangster rap became prevalent with the first two west coast rappers in the late 1980’s, “Ice Tea and NWA”. In addition to that, Tupac and Snoop dog, and other gangster rappers began the notion of not respecting women in their song lyrics, i.e., “We Don’t Love Them Hoes” and “Everywhere I Go, I See That Same Hoe”, just to name a few. These demeaning lyrics towards women have impacted the Los Angeles dating scene in so many ways. So many men in Los Angeles use their player tactics as a way of defining their manhood. Due to these factors, women in Los Angeles have not experienced good treatment from men, therefore, they have little to not standards, if they have any at all. Men in Los Angeles for the most part view romance and commitment as taboo. They will sleep around, create children with random women, date the same woman for years, never marry her and or create a child with a woman they don’t care for, all for the sake of maintaining their player image. Native women of Los Angeles have not experienced real men, who uplift women, therefore, they accept bad behavior as the norm. If a person is exposed to something continuously, they will be conditioned to believe what they are being exposed to and can possibly develop a self-fulfilling prophecy. If a woman is being objectified in songs, and experiencing demeaning treatment and disrespect from her father, brothers, friends, and men who show her interest, she may begin to believe the mistreatment she receives and act accordingly. I observe time after time women choosing no good men in Los Angeles, and sleeping with them as a result of not valuing themselves or having higher expectations. When a person misbehaves and they are given something they desire shortly afterwards, the brain processes it as a reward subconsciously. When a person is rewarded after they misbehave, their behavior will increase as a result of the reinforcer, aka, positive reinforcement. Rather, we like it or not, we are always being reinforced by the stimulus in our environments. With Men in Los Angeles having bad behavior towards dating and romance, and women entertaining them, dating them and sleeping with them afterwards, their bad behavior is being reinforced. Down Low men in Los Angeles are at an all time high. Many gay men in Los Angeles are pretending not to be gay and they are dating women as a cover up. A man uninterested in women will more than likely not treat her with significance. In addition to that, many Los Angeles men who aren’t gay are emasculated pretty boys, who are so interested in their own image and looks, they are too feminine to desire a feminine woman in their life. Sorry to say but, women just aren’t appreciated and desired in Los Angeles. They are treated like objects by men, who can discard them at any time.
    While living in other areas like, the south and east coast, I noticed how traditional the environments were. People prized family and relationships. People also have cultural rules and hold people accountable who rebel against them, whereas, Los Angeles men do not have someone to hold them accountable for their bad behavior. In LA, everyone minds their business and plays the positive polly role and will scorn those who express negative feelings. In other words, men in Los Angeles haven’t been taught how to be men by other men, and use other measures to define it, like being players. I’m sure many men who will read this article will say things like “I’m not originally from LA so this doesn’t apply to me” or “I once lived in LA but I no longer do” or come up with other excuses to justify their behavior. Truth is, if you have lived in LA and or moved to Los Angeles as a teenager or a small child, you were more than likely transformed by the culture. Many people move to LA from other parts of the world and forget who they are, get loss in the sauce, forget their families, cultural values, and spiritual values and start acting brand new. People move to Los Angeles and partake in things they normally wouldn’t have. In the words of Farrakhan “Los Angeles is the hardest place in the world to remain righteous”. Los Angeles is a fantasy island, a place where people act and pretend to be things that they aren’t. Unless a person has a strong sense of self and strong spiritual values, they will more than likely be subjected to the Hollywood influence.  
    In order to escape foolishness, some people date long distance. Some women in Los Angeles date men who live in other parts of the world. Dating in LA may be hard, but with a strong spiritual base, being clear on what you want and knowing what you will or will not accept along with a self-esteem evaluation, things can and will get better. You must be careful not to positively reinforce bad behavior. Stay strong, and be diligent. You attract what you think about and as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
 
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