Men Desire Love:
Yes, I said it and it took me years to finally get it. My father always told me, “sex is the salt and pepper” and that chemistry, a meaningful relationship and love is the meal. His point was this: After purchasing food items for a meal, we then prepare the foods with added ingredients, and when the cooking is complete, you then add the finishing seasonings. A relationship is no different. One never buys an uncooked turkey or chicken and uncooked broccoli or uncooked rice and eats it. We purchase our food, prepare and then season it. My father used food as a scenario to explain how sex is the last thing that should occur in a relationship, because it is the highest form of affection. My dad also stated that, although men act as if they need sex first, also known as, the seasoning, before they can create chemistry with you and or develop a meaningful relationship with you, its a lie and couldn’t be further from the truth, because men really desire the whole feast. Yes, some men are only playing games and only want sex, but these men also want the whole feast. Only a man who is completely disconnected from his soul and or emotionally unavailable for various reasons desires the complete opposite. The whole feast pertains to, the chemistry, love, relationship and sex. Men really what the whole package. My dad admitted that men lie and men will trick you into believing that they only desire sex and that they must test drive, before purchasing. Here’s the secret, 99% of those “test drivers” do not anticipate purchasing. This is the point, men who make women believe that they need to have sex, which is the highest form of affection is running game on you. That may be there way of wedding out the “whores”. Oh no, deep within, men desire love, believe that. My parents have been together for over 50 years and my dad could not even touch my mother until marriage.
Men may act like sex is the main ingredient with the chemistry between you two, but remember, a man is a man, and they don’t always understand what lights their fire. Attraction is the first form of stimuli, then people talk and meet and chemistry forms if two people are floating each others boats and share some common unexplainable connection. Attraction and chemistry occur before sex, so to all the men that believe chemistry is sex, think again. In some instances, correction, many instances, chemistry leads to sex, but chemistry is an independent variable. I said all of this to say that, men desire love just as much as women. I think men settle, and allow their flesh to rule them. Yes, men are more sexual than women , but they still want love, sometimes they just think with the wrong head. Men settle for the salt and pepper, when they can’t get the meal and or when they are not looking to be fulfilled. A starving man will always be hungry, but a real man, and most men desire the full package. I have realized that men truly want love just as much as women do, but there are some differences between the way a man desires love and how a woman desires it. The difference is, men see women for who they are. Men don’t fall for every Tom, Dick and Harry, like women do. Men understand that majority of the women they meet aren’t for them and only one woman is. Men are discerning. Men accept women for who they are. Men get their hearts broke once, and learn their lesson. Men rarely fall in love and they are choosy with whoever they give their hearts to. Men love smart, not emotionally. Yes, they want love just as much as we do, but they are not willing to do anything to have such a vulnerable emotion, that can lead down a dangerous road. Men only put their hearts on the line when they truly love a woman and that true love is returned. Men desire love, just as much as women do, but they have male intuition, rules and regulations, and logic that they put into place before letting their guards down, in the name of love. Men want the full package but would rather dodge all bullets, and settle for sex, sex, sex, just to risk their hearts being broken. There is a method to a man’s madness. Men don’t recuperate as fast as women do, so they are careful to prevent injury. Men will do anything for sex, instead of love.
Women , on the other hand desire love just as much as men, but they are desperate for love! Women are so desperate, they are more than willing to risk being hurt. Women don’t use discernment, in matters dealing with the heart. Most women believe that a woman should be vulnerable with every man. Women listen to their friends, when it comes to matters dealing with their hearts and what’s best for them. Women don’t have rules. Women will allow any man in their life, to seat fill. Women are not honest with themselves. Women don’t have high enough standards. Women feel guilty when they are selective, because they think they should have a man. Women don’t rely on their intuition. Women allow men to manipulate them. Women allow themselves to be tricked into being hurt. Women hand over their power. Women tread dangerous grounds for love because women will do anything for love, instead of sex.
I listened to an author by the name of Mary Miller, who was on KPFK radio last week, who was sharing her thoughts on the differences between men and women and she brought up a good point. This woman said that, many men act like its a natural thing to go from women to women but she is not buying that its apart of nature to be unfulfilled. She also stated that, what men say is their natural instinct to play the field, is really just an unfulfilling life, that consists of loneliness. A man may hop from woman to woman, but in the end, he feels hopeless and lonely, when he goes to bed at night, alone.
Men and women want the same underlying thing, “LOVE”, the methods are just obtained differently.
Never, ever allow a man to talk you into believing that he doesn’t want love deep within. Never allow a man to talk you out of your panties before you get the whole package from him. Just be careful in choosing real men, who are emotionally available. A boy or a player is looking for nothing but sex, but a real man wants the whole package.