What is Borderline Personality Disorder?
Borderline Personality Disorder is a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, emotional affects and impulse issues. One of the major components of Borderline personality is fear of abandonment.
Borderline Personality types alternate between extremes of devaluation and idealization. What does that mean? People suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder have a tendency to idolize their friends, love ones, and family members, until matters take a turn and they are faced with disappointments, which then will lead to devaluing the person. Many people who are connected with Borderline people may describe themselves as feeling overwhelmed, confused, good deeds forgotten and crazy.
Simply put, having consistent encounters with a Borderline Personality may feel like crazy making. A loved one may not understand why their beloved has overreacted, exploded or became furious, especially over small matters. The thing is, once a Borderline is triggered, their minds forget who you are, what you have done for them and what you mean to them. Instead, you become a negative object, which their insecurities can be projected onto. Splitting are frequently displayed behavior amongst Borderlines. Borderlines often split between their ambivalent feelings, from minute to minute or day by day. For example: A Borderline may complain about feeling unloved by others, while simultaneously sabotaging relationships and pushing people away with provoking behaviors.
Borderlines may also have identity disturbance, consisting of unstable self-image, loss sense of self and a weak self-core.
Borderlines may also possess impulsivity in the following areas: spending; sex; substance abuse; reckless driving and binge eating.
Borderlines may also have recurrent suicidal behavior. Having suicidal ideation, making suicidal comments and gestures are common amongst this group. Borderlines make extravagant gestures and create hysterical drama to elicit nurturance from others.
Borderlines may also display inappropriate intense anger or have difficulty controlling anger, leading to frequent displays of inappropriate anger, temper and frequent fights.
How Does Borderline Develop?
Borderline is a severe disorder which develops in childhood, during the attachment stage between child and caregiver. Many Borderlines either had a parent with Narcissistic presentation and or a parent with psychopathology of some sort. As a result of being misused as a narcissistic extension of the parent, and or abused by parent, the child learned how to associate love with dysfunction. The confusion of parenting leads to Borderline Presentation.
Many children who become adults and later develop Borderline Personality Disorder were not habilitated during childhood and thus did experience healthy love. Borderlines were not taught boundaries during childhood and were instead treated as if they were boundless. Many Borderlines were not treated with dignity nor respected as humans with individuality and borders. As mentioned earlier, splitting is a component of this personality disorder because it is way of the Borderline re-parenting themselves unconsciously. They are trying to teach themselves boundaries and respect, but due to lacking earlier role models, the delivery is very damaging. The disorder appears as crossing boundaries, rebelling against rules and spiraling from idealizing a person, place or thing, to discarding and not allowing the chance for redemption to take place. However, the only reason for their Black and White thinking, is the desire to redeem themselves of what was deprived of them and that is an appropriate childhood which taught them about insidious workings of the world. The rigidity that Borderlines possess is simply a defense against their self-esteem and false belief of being a damaged person. Borderlines have formed a life style based on the belief that they are infectious and although this programming is unconscious, it becomes their reality.
How do Borderlines Change?
Therapy is key! Cognitive Behavior Therapy, is thought therapy which helps with black and white thinking and distorted thinking patterns.
Psychoanalysis is a framework used to connect to earlier child experiences, consisting of attachment, objects relations, transference and projections to help with understanding one’s psychic determination.